shower
(and pours)
The
December night wind hushed through
the
open windowsill, the never invited
guest
sent shudders and shivers
–
on my thin skin, the likes of a
newborn
baby, making its way
to
my bones, softly breaking from
his
goodbyes and I’m sorry’s,
finding
its path to my rib cage,
knocking
hard, it echoed despair
over
and over, wanting to get
to
that part of me which I
never
got to protect, it was
hard
to breathe, I was turning
ice
cold from the grips of my
nemesis,
it was slowly creeping,
slithering,
crawling to my core,
I
battled hard, doing everything
in
my power to hide it from
this
enemy. I know I am bound
to
lose, nothing but a shattered
heart
is fighting, pieces are
scattered
it’s hard to fit in
the
puzzles together. But it
was
harder to let him go,
to
listen to his bidding words
of
iloveyoubuts and repetitive
sorrys,
to see him in his
perfect
smile holding
not
my hand but hers. These thoughts
made
me tremble, I can hear
my
scrawny body tear apart,
the
sound of ripping his love letters
wrongly
sent to my address,
the
falling of teacups and
plates
from an outburst of
shock
at his going gone.
I
couldn’t feel my nerves,
frozen
from impact of the clash
I
just lost, knowing that whatever
I’d
do—to try to fight, to
try
to fix, to try to hold on—he
will
never be getting in that
door
again. Nor knock. For
it
was all over. I was numb,
I
didn’t try to defy what came
next—sobbing,
silent sobs,
a
curling up on the bed, crying,
more
wailing, silent shouting,
letting
tears attack like thunder
and
lighting letting everyone know
that
like the sky, I can also destroy
thousands
of papertowns with my
soft,
gentle cries.
